This One’s For the Girls

 

My beautiful sisters,

You are wonderful. You are full of life and beauty, and you are so loved. You need to know that.

Ok. So here we go. It’s about to get real. BUT when you read this you need to know that this is what I am LEARNING not what I have LEARNED. This is something that I wish I understood earlier. This is something I am not good at. So this is not meant to be at anyone, but for everyone. My heart is simply to encourage you.

Boys are confusing sometimes. Not nearly as confusing as girls, I think we could all agree, but nonetheless confusing. So what are we to do with them? How do we view guys and treat guys as 15,16,17,18 year-olds? How do we as girls, build up the guys in our life?

Let’s look at why we were created:

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Genesis 2:18-22

 

How cool is that?! Man needed help. He needed companionship and a caretaker. So God searched high and low for something to fill that role. But He didn’t find anything. So He created us. He created us SPECIFICALLY. We get to be that caretaker, that encourager, that supporter. We are capable of so many things that men aren’t because we were created to compliment them in every way.

Ok, McKenzie. My dad sucks. I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t even have a brother. This is completely irrelevant.

Well, not exactly.

A marriage works just like Jesus’s relationship with the church. We are meant to support Jesus. To serve Him, to love Him, to submit to Him. This means that no matter the earthly men in your life, these traits are valuable and necessary. You were created for this, man or no man.

 

Ok, now for the real part. Ladies, what we wear, say, and expect needs to change. YES boys have things that they can do better. NO the brokenness of relationships with the opposite sex is not all our fault. But that is not what this is about. We cannot change what boys do. But maybe if we change what we do, the boys will follow suit. Wanna be a strong, independent woman? Let’s be the change in our culture!

What we wear:

I know, I know. This is a big one. But here’s the thing. I want to be a mom one day. And if I think about my son, struggling every day to stay pure and keep his head down because the girls in his life don’t wear appropriate clothing, it makes me sad. Sure there are the guys that will sexualize a girl wearing a turtleneck and overalls, but what about the guys that are truly seeking the Lord? What about the guys that came from a hard background and want to follow God now but still find it hard to let go of that sin? We are making it so hard for them because, “leggings are comfortable,” and, “these shorts fit better.” Can we please stop being selfish and start protecting the eyes, minds, and hearts of the boys we love? Please. They can’t just spend their whole lives looking the other way. We have the incredible gift of our bodies. And it is meant to be enjoyed… by one man. Not every one of the men you pass in the hallway. Yeah, you look great, and I bet you feel great too. But why do you feel great? Because you look awesome and everyone is staring at you? Or because you are building up the hearts of those around you and leading them more towards the Savior that will change their life?

1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:1-4; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Proverbs 31:30; Matthew 5:28; 1 Samuel 16:7; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Matthew 18:6-7; 1 Thessalonians 4:2-10

 

What we say:

I know a lot of guys, and they are all very different. But they all have one thing in common. They hate when a girl says something negative about them in front of others, even as a joke. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. I began realizing that if I tear them down, they don’t know what to do. If I make a joke, they don’t know how to react. Society says I can make fun of a guy all I want, and he can’t really say anything back because then it’s bullying or abusive. But then I thought, I wonder what would happen if I started to say positive things about the boys I know in front of their friends? Would they even notice? So I tried it, and something really cool happened. First, the guys I knew treated me better because when I was around they felt supported and respected. They were kinder to me and were more intentional about protecting and loving me. Second, they were a lot happier and much more confident. It was really cool to realize that one kind word changed their whole demeanor. I realized I had a lot of power over the guys in my life. But that’s because it was only ever intended to make them better people. Lastly, and this was the really cool one, I noticed that they listened to me more. When I respected them and encouraged them, they were much more open to what I had to say. My opinion was listened to, and I felt… valued. I felt valued because I valued someone else. Isn’t it just like God to make it that way? He’s so cool.

Luke 6:45; Proverbs 18:2; Proverbs 15:4; Proverbs 15:23; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Ephesians 4:29; Hebrews 10:24-25; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Colossians 3:16

 

What we expect:

To me this is the most important. The feminist movement is really prevalent in our society today. And some of those things are really good and important issues. But here’s the thing: We have been deceived. We think that when we get equal pay or when society looks at us the “right” way, we will feel complete. Sisters, we are fighting for the wrong things. Guess what? We were created to serve. To serve men, and to serve each other, and to serve God. When a boy doesn’t buy you flowers every day, or when a man doesn’t treat you like the queen of the earth, it does not give us the right to act like they are incapable of love. It is important for them to love us in ways that speak to us, but what about us? How are we loving them? You have more than your body. What would happen if we stopped expecting flowers and started sending them scripture every morning? What would happen if every once in a while, we bought them coffee? What if we prayed for them ceaselessly instead of complaining to them about all of our frustrations and expecting them to have perfect answers every time? Can we stop expecting guys to be perfect, and start praying for the men in our life to become stronger, bolder people?

1 Peter 5:5-6; 1 Corinthians 11:8-9,11-12; Galatians 3:8; John 13:34; Genesis 2:23-24; Luke 6:31; Romans 12:9; Mark 12:31;1 Corinthians 13:4-8; Ephesians 4:2; 1 Peter 4:8

 

You say you love him, but your heart naturally focuses on how he can love you. It’s so hard to think any differently. Especially when it feels like there’s no one around you thinking the same way. But when I look at my school, I see boys becoming men of God, but I am having trouble finding the women who are ready to serve. I don’t see us standing with humility and love, ready to be bold for Christ and kind to our brothers. Let’s change that.

We can’t do it without each other. Find a friend, challenge her. Love the guys in your life the way that Christ called you to love Him. I’m convinced it will change everything.