I leave for Kenya tomorrow. As I woke up this morning with that reality on my mind, a myriad of emotions flooded through me.
First, anxiety. Maybe not what you expected. But since I decided to go on this trip in June, I have struggled with anxiety. It makes me feel like I am sitting on a fence. On each side of me, there are people taunting and poking me, making me feel like I am going to fall, but never fully pushing me over. It makes me feel on edge, like I could have an emotional break-down at any point. It has made me feel unworthy of love and forgiveness. It has made me feel weak and beaten down.
But in everything I have to trust in the Lord my God. I know that He is for me, and that He is stronger than my enemy. I know that He is faithful. He is my salvation and my help. My rock and my fortress. My Deliverer. I am believing that this is simply spiritual attack., but God is a sustainer.
The next emotion that I felt as I got up was assurance. Assurance that God would take care of the people here that I love. Assurance that He is more than enough, that in Him I can do all things, including have joy and peace.
Beyond all of this, I am ecstatic. I cannot wait to see the ways that He works in my heart. I am excited to learn and be challenged. The way that God has orchestrated all of the details for this trip is incredible. I am in awe of the His great power and grace.
More than anything else, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness. Thank you all so much for your endless support, prayers, and thoughts. I am surrounded with the best friends in the world, and the most thoughtful church. My family has been so selfless in all of this, and has never once placed a doubt in me about obeying this calling. Thank you all so much for being so incredible.
I will be posting updates on my blog, so feel free to keep up with us that way!
I love you all!