Be Still and Know

Warning: This will not be a light-hearted update or an easy read… so if you’re looking for something to make you feel good, you probably shouldn’t continue.

There is simply no other way to truthfully share the things that I have seen and felt.

The first day I arrived here, I found it hard to connect with the people or the city. I think that there were so many new sights and sounds and smells, that my brain simply couldn’t process it all and allow me to feel at the same time. I felt almost apathetic, and that made me upset. I wanted to feel deeply. I wanted to be able to grasp the weight of the situation, but I couldn’t.

However, the second day was different. I had prayed that God would allow my heart to open up to the children and that I would be able to connect with them and feel with and for them. And well, in typical God fashion, He didn’t let me down.

I spent most of the morning taking videos of the children, asking them about what their life was like before they came to the school, and how the school changed their life. In doing this, I noticed several trends in their answers. First, when I would ask them about their past, their eyes would get cloudy and they would speak in low, soft voices. You could hear the pain.They would explain how they had no food and no school fees, and all that was left to do was to help their mother with housework and roam around looking for money from anyone who would give it to them.

When I asked the kids about how the school changed their lives, their eyes lit up and they began to rattle on and on about how, because of the school, they now understand more about their identity. Many of them were introduced to Jesus for the first time, and many of them accepted Him as their own Lord and Savior. They told me that now they understood that they define their problem, not the other way around.

But the coolest part of the interviews was that each and every kid knew exactly what they wanted to be and why.

Now pause for a second. If I was living in these conditions, I will be the first to admit that I would do everything I could to get out. I would want to go live somewhere else and secure a better life for myself and my immediate family. But not these kids. These kids have a passion for their people.

One boy wanted to be an engineer to bring electricity to the slums. Another girl wanted to be a judge so that she could have a place in solving the corruption in the government, because the poor are not getting the help they need. Another girl wanted to become a lawyer to help the rape victims in the slums. Still another girl wanted to be a journalist to take Africa’s stories to the world so that she could find help in securing clean water for the slums.

These stories of passion and resolve moved me to tears. I was inspired by their selflessness.

Later that day, we drove through the slums for the first time. I witnessed firsthand the conditions that my new friends lived in. They were without the most basic needs. They lack food and clean water, they have no way to keep warm when it gets cold, and there are families of 8 living in a shack the size of my bed.

And here I sat in this nice car, driving through the middle of their lives just… staring at them. This little 18 year old girl with more money than they have ever seen in their whole lives, just sitting there in disbelief. My heart shattered. I tried to hold back tears, but I couldn’t stand the idea that these people were hurting, and in that moment I could do absolutely nothing to help. I felt like my very presence in that place made them feel like a spectacle or less than human.

My heart aches for these people. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my God is bigger than poverty. However, it is difficult to find where to start. So if you would, please join me in prayer for the people of Kenya. Pray that the gospel continues to spread like wildfire, burning away all of the hurt and despair that the devil has placed here. Pray that God would restore life to this country, and that the people would KNOW that He is in control.

So… today was a lot.

First, compared to the previous 2 days of my life, I got a LOT of sleep. Praise Jesus in Heaven who is not bound by time. Seriously. It was awesome.

There were also a lot of people. Like way way more than I had ever imagined. Kenya has a population of 4 million people, 3.138 million of which live in this city. There are people EVERYWHERE. At 6:30 this morning they were all up and running around and getting on buses and walking to work and riding mopeds and just living life.

Another thing there was a lot of: emotions. I felt a little overwhelmed with the starkly different thoughts and feelings scattered throughout my day. A lot of them I haven’t had time to process and be able to grasp, so instead of writing about all of them here and now, I will ask for prayer.

Poverty and true need is a hard thing to grasp. So if you would, please pray that I am able to put everything I see and experience in the context of God’s love for me and these people, and that I am able to better understand how to serve my King because of what He teaches me through all of this.

A LOT OF FOOD. Holy cow…or… goat. Hold that thought. The portion sizes here are extremely large. In the words of the locals: “We walk everywhere! We need lots of energy.” I have yet to be able to finish a meal, not because it wasn’t good, but because it’s a pile of food a mile high every time they set a plate in front of you. So back to the goat thing.. I tried goat today for the first time! Much more authentic am I right?? I thoroughly enjoyed it, but don’t take my word for it 😉

 

Today we did lot of singing. I sang about (if I calculated correctly) 11 different songs today, some in English, some in Swahili, some in both at the same time. The kids wanted to teach us music, and we wanted to teach them music. My favorite thing ever is watching the people of God come together despite a language barrier to worship Him. One day it will be every nation and tribe and tongue. And what an awesome thing that will be.

img_4883 (Video link here!)

A lot of smiles looked at me today with hope in their eyes despite the tattered clothes and dirty walls. The children I met today brought me the greatest joy I have ever experienced. All they wanted to do was take pictures and make goofy faces. Why? Because life is supposed to be filled with joy. And these kids didn’t need anything to make them joyful. They just were. They understand this at 2 and 7 and 9, and here I am at 18, just now scratching the surface of what true joy is and where it comes from.

So today was a lot. But I couldn’t have loved it more.

Initial thoughts include:

Wow… the clouds look the same no matter what continent you’re on.

Holy poop I am in Africa.

Having two back to back 7 hour flights is not the most fun thing in the world.

Swiss chocolate is incredible (we flew through Switzerland).

Kenyan coffee smells absolutely perfect.

 

For the past 32 and a half hours, I have stepped foot on three planes, been in four airports, watched two and half movies, eaten four airline meals, consumed six cups of coffee, and have gotten about 2 hours of sleep.

But after all of that… I am FINALLY in Africa. My heart almost leapt out of my chest as I stepped off of the plane and onto the ground in a place that I have dreamt of for years. I cannot stop smiling.

We were able to squeeze through customs with no problems, and all of our personal bags arrived safe and sound. The only bag we lost was a supply bag, but it will be here no later than Wednesday. For those of you who have traveled before, you know what a huge blessing this is.

My first meal in Kenya consisted of a cheeseburger, fries, and a soda. Super authentic right? But a little comfort was good after all of the airplane food. And as we sat at this restaurant in the Kenyan airport, we listened to the incredible testimony of a man we will be working with. I was completely inspired and humbled by the passion and faith of both this man and my team. We began talking about what we want out of this trip, and each team member agreed: We don’t expect God to do something specific, we just expect Him to do something. In Kenya. In us. We are so excited to see how it all plays out.

I am praising the Lord for who He is and what He is already doing. I cannot thank you enough for all of the prayers and the support. If you would be willing, please continue to pray specifically for health. There are so many opportunities for Satan to use physical ailments against us on this trip, but I know the Lord has bigger plans.

Love you all so much!

McKenzie

PS. There are cats everywhere. Who knew?!

I leave for Kenya tomorrow. As I woke up this morning with that reality on my mind, a myriad of emotions flooded through me.

First, anxiety. Maybe not what you expected. But since I decided to go on this trip in June, I have struggled with anxiety. It makes me feel like I am sitting on a fence. On each side of me, there are people taunting and poking me, making me feel like I am going to fall, but never fully pushing me over. It makes me feel on edge, like I could have an emotional break-down at any point. It has made me feel unworthy of love and forgiveness. It has made me feel weak and beaten down.

But in everything I have to trust in the Lord my God. I know that He is for me, and that He is stronger than my enemy. I know that He is faithful. He is my salvation and my help. My rock and my fortress. My Deliverer. I am believing that this is simply spiritual attack., but God is a sustainer.

The next emotion that I felt as I got up was assurance. Assurance that God would take care of the people here that I love. Assurance that He is more than enough, that in Him I can do all things, including have joy and peace.

Beyond all of this, I am ecstatic. I cannot wait to see the ways that He works in my heart. I am excited to learn and be challenged. The way that God has orchestrated all of the details for this trip is incredible. I am in awe of the His great power and grace.

More than anything else, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness. Thank you all so much for your endless support, prayers, and thoughts. I am surrounded with the best friends in the world, and the most thoughtful church. My family has been so selfless in all of this, and has never once placed a doubt in me about obeying this calling. Thank you all so much for being so incredible.

I will be posting updates on my blog, so feel free to keep up with us that way!

I love you all!

 

 

 

 

My beautiful sisters,

You are wonderful. You are full of life and beauty, and you are so loved. You need to know that.

Ok. So here we go. It’s about to get real. BUT when you read this you need to know that this is what I am LEARNING not what I have LEARNED. This is something that I wish I understood earlier. This is something I am not good at. So this is not meant to be at anyone, but for everyone. My heart is simply to encourage you.

Boys are confusing sometimes. Not nearly as confusing as girls, I think we could all agree, but nonetheless confusing. So what are we to do with them? How do we view guys and treat guys as 15,16,17,18 year-olds? How do we as girls, build up the guys in our life?

Let’s look at why we were created:

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Genesis 2:18-22

 

How cool is that?! Man needed help. He needed companionship and a caretaker. So God searched high and low for something to fill that role. But He didn’t find anything. So He created us. He created us SPECIFICALLY. We get to be that caretaker, that encourager, that supporter. We are capable of so many things that men aren’t because we were created to compliment them in every way.

Ok, McKenzie. My dad sucks. I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t even have a brother. This is completely irrelevant.

Well, not exactly.

A marriage works just like Jesus’s relationship with the church. We are meant to support Jesus. To serve Him, to love Him, to submit to Him. This means that no matter the earthly men in your life, these traits are valuable and necessary. You were created for this, man or no man.

 

Ok, now for the real part. Ladies, what we wear, say, and expect needs to change. YES boys have things that they can do better. NO the brokenness of relationships with the opposite sex is not all our fault. But that is not what this is about. We cannot change what boys do. But maybe if we change what we do, the boys will follow suit. Wanna be a strong, independent woman? Let’s be the change in our culture!

What we wear:

I know, I know. This is a big one. But here’s the thing. I want to be a mom one day. And if I think about my son, struggling every day to stay pure and keep his head down because the girls in his life don’t wear appropriate clothing, it makes me sad. Sure there are the guys that will sexualize a girl wearing a turtleneck and overalls, but what about the guys that are truly seeking the Lord? What about the guys that came from a hard background and want to follow God now but still find it hard to let go of that sin? We are making it so hard for them because, “leggings are comfortable,” and, “these shorts fit better.” Can we please stop being selfish and start protecting the eyes, minds, and hearts of the boys we love? Please. They can’t just spend their whole lives looking the other way. We have the incredible gift of our bodies. And it is meant to be enjoyed… by one man. Not every one of the men you pass in the hallway. Yeah, you look great, and I bet you feel great too. But why do you feel great? Because you look awesome and everyone is staring at you? Or because you are building up the hearts of those around you and leading them more towards the Savior that will change their life?

1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:1-4; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Proverbs 31:30; Matthew 5:28; 1 Samuel 16:7; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Matthew 18:6-7; 1 Thessalonians 4:2-10

 

What we say:

I know a lot of guys, and they are all very different. But they all have one thing in common. They hate when a girl says something negative about them in front of others, even as a joke. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. I began realizing that if I tear them down, they don’t know what to do. If I make a joke, they don’t know how to react. Society says I can make fun of a guy all I want, and he can’t really say anything back because then it’s bullying or abusive. But then I thought, I wonder what would happen if I started to say positive things about the boys I know in front of their friends? Would they even notice? So I tried it, and something really cool happened. First, the guys I knew treated me better because when I was around they felt supported and respected. They were kinder to me and were more intentional about protecting and loving me. Second, they were a lot happier and much more confident. It was really cool to realize that one kind word changed their whole demeanor. I realized I had a lot of power over the guys in my life. But that’s because it was only ever intended to make them better people. Lastly, and this was the really cool one, I noticed that they listened to me more. When I respected them and encouraged them, they were much more open to what I had to say. My opinion was listened to, and I felt… valued. I felt valued because I valued someone else. Isn’t it just like God to make it that way? He’s so cool.

Luke 6:45; Proverbs 18:2; Proverbs 15:4; Proverbs 15:23; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Ephesians 4:29; Hebrews 10:24-25; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Colossians 3:16

 

What we expect:

To me this is the most important. The feminist movement is really prevalent in our society today. And some of those things are really good and important issues. But here’s the thing: We have been deceived. We think that when we get equal pay or when society looks at us the “right” way, we will feel complete. Sisters, we are fighting for the wrong things. Guess what? We were created to serve. To serve men, and to serve each other, and to serve God. When a boy doesn’t buy you flowers every day, or when a man doesn’t treat you like the queen of the earth, it does not give us the right to act like they are incapable of love. It is important for them to love us in ways that speak to us, but what about us? How are we loving them? You have more than your body. What would happen if we stopped expecting flowers and started sending them scripture every morning? What would happen if every once in a while, we bought them coffee? What if we prayed for them ceaselessly instead of complaining to them about all of our frustrations and expecting them to have perfect answers every time? Can we stop expecting guys to be perfect, and start praying for the men in our life to become stronger, bolder people?

1 Peter 5:5-6; 1 Corinthians 11:8-9,11-12; Galatians 3:8; John 13:34; Genesis 2:23-24; Luke 6:31; Romans 12:9; Mark 12:31;1 Corinthians 13:4-8; Ephesians 4:2; 1 Peter 4:8

 

You say you love him, but your heart naturally focuses on how he can love you. It’s so hard to think any differently. Especially when it feels like there’s no one around you thinking the same way. But when I look at my school, I see boys becoming men of God, but I am having trouble finding the women who are ready to serve. I don’t see us standing with humility and love, ready to be bold for Christ and kind to our brothers. Let’s change that.

We can’t do it without each other. Find a friend, challenge her. Love the guys in your life the way that Christ called you to love Him. I’m convinced it will change everything.

My mind got to thinking, as minds often do. And in my thinking I began to realize that I’ve been taught A LOT over my 17 years of existence. So I thought I might share some lessons that I have been taught, both recently and not so recently. You can take it or leave it like the flyer on the top of the counter at your doctor’s office… but my hope is that maybe you learn something like I did.

1.You don’t have to have a cappuccino machine to make a cappuccino.
Did you know that you can actually just put the milk in the microwave for like 45 seconds to a minute and then just whisk the milk after?? Maybe you did. But my mind was blown. I saved a whole lot of money on Starbucks cappuccinos when I learned this little dandy thing.

2. If you have stick straight hair like me, sleeping on it while it’s wet is probably not a good idea.
I’ve woken up with some pretty awesome hair in the mornings as a result of this. It probably would be a whole lot faster if I would just blow-dry my hair the night before instead of trying to fix it the next morning. On the bright side, I start my day off with a good laugh. So there’s a positive.

3. There is an answer in the Word of God for everything.
My mom is a pretty smart lady, and she has taught me a lot. (Although a heads up about the wet hair thing would’ve been nice). But one of the lessons I will forever hold on to is her absolute belief in the Bible to provide an answer for anything and everything. I have watched her pour out her heart for weeks every day in her quiet time searching for a specific answer to something. One time I asked her if she’d ever thought about giving up. She said, “Nah. God didn’t call me to give up, and He certainly didn’t give up on me.” Since then I have never doubted that if we look hard enough, we will find our answer, even if it doesn’t look like we expected it to.

4. Air conditioning is a blessing.
The AC in my car went out at the beginning of last summer. For multiple reasons, my car remains a moving sauna. Sometimes I love having the windows down, but sometimes it rains. Sometimes you either mess up your hair or sweat off your makeup. Sometimes you can’t hear the person next to you for the wind. You are blessed if you drive a car that has AC. Please remember that. And if you think of it, say a prayer for my sanity. THE LORD IS STILL GOOD. 🙂

5. Healing occurs when people are real about their mistakes.
I recently attended FCA camp at Lee University. It was an unforgettable experience, and the relationships that were grown there are invaluable to me. While I was there, there were several leaders that decided to be real about where they’ve messed up. They didn’t try to hide behind the expectation for them to be, “godly.” They were able to speak of their brokenness and shout of their redemption. When they were able to finally speak out about where they fell short, it brought healing for them AND for the 350 kids in that room. It changed countless people’s lives because one person decided to speak the truth that we all share. “I’m not perfect.” My prayer going forward is that I may be able to speak out about my brokenness, because I am made righteous only by the blood of my Wonderful Savior.

6. Books-a-Million is a great place to hang out.
Take a friend and roam the aisles. Make fun of the dumb titles and make a list of all the cool books you find and wanna read someday. Buy a coffee. Read a Dr. Seuss book. Or rap it… (Nathan’s idea not mine) It makes a great date. And it’s free. (That’s my favorite kind of hanging out).

7. If you want to see radical things happen in your life, you have to step out on faith.
I love the Bible, and I have a strong desire to do exactly what it says. But sometimes I get so caught up in, “is this right or wrong?” that I don’t trust in the Holy Spirit to be my guide. Sharing the gospel, speaking into the lives of others, praying for radical things. All of these require FAITH. Test everything against the Word of God, yes. Strive to learn God’s truth, yes. But TRUST in the moving of the Holy Spirit. Do not be afraid.

8. When you don’t know the words, sing anyway.
You’ll never have any fun if you don’t start singing along. Let go. Sing random words and be the loudest. That’s all I have to say about that.

9. Shoes are key.
Buy some shoes that you like. You’ll feel like the cutest person ever if you just like your dang shoes. I promise.

10. It’s not about me.
I saved this one for last because it by far the most important to me. In light of being real and stepping out on faith… I have always dealt with self-image issues. I think every girl does at some point, and I think that most things that girls deal with are rooted in how they view themselves. I’ve obsessed over exercising, I’ve tried extreme diets, I’ve tried not eating, I’ve tried not caring. I’ve tried talking more and talking less. I’ve tried opening up and closing myself off. I’ve tried keeping to myself, and I’ve tried confiding in others. And yes, some of those things worked… for a minute. Eventually they all left me feeling the same way: Weak, tired, broken, and ugly. I began seeing the lasting effects of my hatred for myself. I couldn’t love others well because I didn’t love myself well. I felt disconnected from God because I had so much anger towards HIS creation. I became stressed out all the time because there was no escaping it.
Then slowly, my Savior brought me to a beautiful realization: It’s not about me. I will always fall short because, without God I am never enough. I started focusing on how He created me. He woke me up from my slumber and gave purpose to my being. He made me strong because He loved me. When I started living in that, I wasn’t worried about if my shirt fit just right. I started caring about how my heart looked, and then I felt beautiful, both outwardly and inwardly.
Then this. This is what got me. When I looked up, I found friends that loved me, regardless of what my slept-on, went-to-bed-wet hair looked like. I found parents that had always seen the best in me, even when I was at my worst. I found a sister that looked up to me. I found the sweetest guy that had stood by my side calling me beautiful and prayed for me to feel that way. I found a God who said, “You’re mine. Forever. I love you. THAT is why you are beautiful.”

God makes beautiful promises.

However, sometimes those promises require waiting. As impatient human beings, this frustrates us. I live in a world where the microwave takes too long. You can super-size my meal as long as you don’t supersize my line. And if I paid for premium shipping, it better be here in under 24 hours, no excuses.

But God doesn’t work like that. He works on His time, with His perfection.

Abram had been waiting for a child. Longing for a child. God had promised him a family as big as the night sky itself, but his wife remained barren. He and Sarai had lived alone for decades, wishing for the sound of a little voice. Their hearts ached for the fulfillment of God’s word to them. But it wasn’t coming.

Finally Sarai took matters into her own hands. “Sleep with Hagar, my servant,” she told her husband. “Maybe we will have a family through her.”

Have you ever wanted something so bad you were willing to do anything to get it? You plan it out and convince yourself that your plan is the only way to get this long awaited thing. You lean on your understanding of the situation and naturally come to the conclusion that this must be the best thing.

So Hagar has a kid. Abram was 86 and finally had what he wanted… right? No, He knew this wasn’t right. The Bible doesn’t tell us anything about Abram’s life between the ages of 86 and 99. But I imagine his emotions being somewhat of a mess. He had what he wanted but he did not feel content.

He knew this was not God’s way. But what was he without a son? What did he have if he had no one to take care of everything he owned after he died? What kind of man was he if he couldn’t produce a way to continue his name? Who would take charge of the land God gave Him? His life wasn’t complete without a child! He was almost 100 and was weary of faith.

In the midst of a heart raging with confusion, God comes down to meet Abram. Before Abram can say anything, God knows.

I am El Shaddai. The all- sufficient One. Abram, I am enough.

Abram fell with His face to the ground in submission and worship.

Walk before me faithfully. THEN I will fulfill my promise to you.

God called Abram to a life of obedience. He knew Abram had to first be content in HIM. There shall be no gods before Him. Not even a promise from God. Abram was to walk in faith knowing that even if the promise doesn’t come, God is enough.

Abram said yes to that calling. He worshiped the Lord for His patience and love. Then he was a new man. God gave him a new name. Now he was Abraham: Father of many. And his wife was no longer called quarrelsome. Now she was to be called Sarah: Princess. They were heirs to the promise of God but not slaves to it.

They were free in the contentment of God alone.

Recently, I have found myself seeking contentment in the things God has promised me. I want to live in the future when I have everything I asked for. But God said no.

He is enough.

So I am beginning a journey. I am seeking intimacy with HIM. I want to be in love with and obsessed with only HIM.

Join me. I have a feeling we will find that He is far better than what we asked for.

Are you ever just angry at sin??

Like angry at the way that it has changed your life? If I didn’t live in this sinful world then I would not be constantly breaking the heart of my father. I wouldn’t have to live in the consequences of things not of God. It makes me frustrated to think about the fact that I choose the things of this world over Him. It makes me mad that pain, emptiness, hurt and sadness exist because we chose our own selves and our own desires over the endless and beautiful love of our Emmanuel.

I have to imagine that these are similar emotions to what God felt watching His son on the cross. Ripped apart and beaten down, his Son hung there on a tree that He created. Again, we took what he called, “good,” and tainted it with our selfishness.

These thoughts make me hurt on the inside. They break my heart to pieces. Sometimes I am lost in the thoughts of the effects of sin on the earth. Shootings. Death. People fighting for all the wrong things.

So what, then, is the point of living?

God has called us to a life of joy. We just have to be willing to look for it in the right place. And quite honestly, when my heart hurts like it does now, I would almost rather stay here. I would almost rather wallow in my pain than look for the true purpose He has called me to. But I know that it is no kind of life to feel that way and so I will sit here and write what I know.

 

1. I live in light of the most beautiful promise ever spoken: Restoration.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Revelation 21:3-5

We serve a God that doesn’t stop at salvation. He wants to restore us to the perfect state He created us in. He wants to come and live and dwell among us. He wants us to live and enjoy life and serve Him—forever. No more sin. No more anger.

 

2. The pain we feel now doesn’t compare to the joy we will feel when we finally live in the reality of His constant presence.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Romans 8:18

Perspective is key. If we want to understand how to live in the fullness of our purpose now, we have to remember that what we are living for is far beyond worth it.

 

3. We do have things to live for now. And they do include beautiful moments full of contentment.

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Acts 1:8

Power from the Holy Spirit is the single most amazing thing we could ever be given. The power and presence of God in our lives means we live with purpose. We live with strength. We live with excitement for the ways that God plans to further His kingdom in our lives.

Think back on a moment when you were truly happy. Did that moment include love? Joy? Peace and Patience? Kindness and goodness? Faithfulness? Gentleness or self-control?

The things that the Holy Spirit gives us are meant to fill us up. We are called to live in the JOY that comes from God’s gift. And when we are dried up and empty, we serve a God who makes this promise to those who serve Him:

The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; He will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.

Isaiah 51:3

If I could be any animal, I would be a bird.

I love the wind and the rush that it gives when it washes over your body and gives you chills. I love the sun and the fact that its only purpose is to bring light to a dark world. I love the colors in the sky, and the way that they radiate the creativeness of my God. I love that when you fly, (my conclusions of course being drawn from my airplane experience, but I would imagine the life of a bird being similar), your perspective changes. You are not lost in yourself, but lost in the expanse of the world you are a small part of.

Oh, to always have the humility of a bird.

I am not a bird, but I am a missionary. Traveling the world and meeting people that are different from me creates a perspective much like that of flying. It is a beautiful thing to be reminded of the simple truth that the world is bigger than my problems, my joys, and my task-list.

Recently, I have been looking for another opportunity to share God’s Word in an international context. After a ton of prayer, I believe that I have found God’s next journey for me: Kenya.

First, a little background.

I have always dreamt of going to Africa. It seems slightly odd that a continent I’ve never been to could grip my heart like Africa does, but I have never wavered in my desire to be there, serving those people. So you can understand why my heart leapt out of my chest when the mission’s coordinator at my church said the word, “Kenya.”

I’ve tried before on multiple occasions to go to Africa, but for various reasons, it’s never worked out. So I sat in the chair at church thinking that I was probably just hearing my own desire, not God’s calling to go on this trip. But my desire was so strong. I knew I had to commit it to prayer.

So I did. And God did some insane things.

As I prayed and sought truth and answers in His Word, I began to hear that quiet, clear, familiar voice.

Watch.

Watch??? Really God??? Like… You do realize watching means I can’t do anything, right?? You mean You want me to have……. *gulps*…… patience?

Yay.

So I kept praying. I didn’t let a day go by without asking the Lord to give me patience and allow Him to work in my heart according to His plan. Besides, the team meeting for the trip was on Sunday. Answers would probably come then. So I only had to wait for one week, right? Wrong.

Sunday rolled around. Meeting postponed. Another week of the dreaded watching.

In the next week, I lost a lot of my piano students for the summer. This meant significantly decreased income and virtually no way to pay for a mission trip.

God is this answer? Are you saying no?

Watch.

Then I got a call from my mom about a potential summer job as a receptionist for a business right down the road. She encouraged me to call and inquire about the position, so I did. I left a message, and prayed that they would get back to me before my patience crumbled and I went practically insane.

Two days later they called me. I went in for the interview and with one prayer in my heart.

Lord, if you want me to go on this trip, please help me get this job.

The next thing I know, I am employed and writing a blog-post about going to Kenya. The Lord is faithful, and I feel beyond blessed.

On October 16^th of this year, I will be boarding a plane to finally go to Africa. My heart is bursting with excitement as I think of working in our medical clinic, visiting homeless, sharing the gospel with young men in a prison ministry, and working with a local school.

As I look at the realities of FICA (whoever that is), I realize that I cannot make this journey on my own. It takes a team of people. If you would like to support me by giving financially to my trip, click on the link below.

I also believe that prayer is powerful, and that it is the most incredible way that I could be supported. I would be honored if you would join me on this journey in that way.

Thank you so so much for your support.

With love,

McKenzie

https://www.gofundme.com/mckenzietokenya

It was the middle of July, and the evening breeze was perfect. The sun had gone down and the stars were perfectly bright in the vast expanse above my swing-set. The beautiful night alone was cause for a great celebration. I, however, was not in the mood for celebrating.

My mom had cancer.

In my book, that makes life pretty frustrating and difficult. Being the oldest of three kids, I was temporary mom. Chemo treatments and major surgeries don’t exactly allow for cooking, cleaning, and care-taking, so those duties fell to me. I gladly accepted them and moved about life with a sense of self-inflicted responsibility. Now, I don’t want to undermine the fact that what I felt was real and hard. But, I do want to make it clear that I took a lot of these things on because I thought I had to, not because someone asked me to.

The problem was, I tried to fix it all myself. I burned myself out by trying to do everything that mom couldn’t. Then I reached my threshold, my breaking point, my rock-bottom.

So there I was, crying on the swing-set. Talking ceaselessly to God about how frustrated I was that I couldn’t do it all. I couldn’t fix my mom. I couldn’t make my siblings listen. I couldn’t get the pit out of my stomach. I was angry and frustrated that He wouldn’t just let me make things better.

“God this is so dumb! Why us?”

Then I  heard a loud boom. I don’t know what it was, but it was loud, and shook me. I got the message.

“Shut up and listen for a second.”

What other response could I have given?

“Yes, sir.”

I’m not going to begin to pretend that I’m smart enough to engage in the debate over whether or not God still speaks audibly. I still leave the eggs out of my brownies sometimes, (don’t try it), so I will most definitely not claim any theological authority. However, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I heard God speak to me, whether it be in my heart or with my ears.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

Have you ever experienced true peace? If you haven’t, you should know that it doesn’t make sense. It usually occurs at the moment that everything is falling apart. That was this moment for me. As I walked back inside, my situation had not changed. My mom still had cancer, my siblings still didn’t want to listen to their big sister (because what the heck does she know), and there was still a mountain of chores to be done. Yet my heart was lighter, and my  smile came back.

Jesus promises us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. When He gives His peace that surpasses our understanding, it only makes sense for our joy to be restored.

I have found that this philosophy works for all of life. If I step back and recognize that HE is God and HE is in control, then I don’t have to fix it. He will. Letting go actually makes more sense than clinging to my problems for dear life. Life doesn’t come from my problems. Life comes from my Savior. I will cling to Him because He is God and I am not. Simple thought, sure. But the application of the thought is the more challenging part, as is the case with most things.

In a world that moves at a million miles a minute and demands our attention and devotion at all times, we reach breaking points. That is inevitable. The key is being still. The key is to stop talking. The key is to know that He has been controlling the world since the beginning of time. The beginning of your problems is not the end of His sovereignty.

Trust Him in the midst of chaos. Be still and know that He is God.